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Thursday, September 18, 2008
Ever feel like you’re stuck on the sidelines during the most exciting game of the season? Or, to rephrase that in gay speak: Ever feel like Patti LuPone’s understudy? You’re missing all the action, silent in the wings!
Watching the presidential election unfold is like that. Oh, to be able to vote in all those swing states we worked so hard to escape.
It’s frustrating that a handful of states will be the deciders come Election Day. But that doesn’t mean we can’t help avert the McCain-Palin disaster. There is one very important action we can all take, and it doesn’t require donations or phone banks.
We can come out.
Tell people you’re gay? What? You did it 20 years ago? Well, we’re not talking about coming out to your best girlfriends, close family members or even your co-workers (who probably knew you were gay before they knew your name).
We’re talking about relatives, friends and neighbors back home. That great aunt who teaches Bible school and volunteers at the blood drives. That former classmate who’s now on the local school board.
Come out to these people. They’re the ones who think of gays as “the other,” who believe the lies about us. Who never watched “Will & Grace.” Who vote against our rights. Who don’t know better.
Remember, the personal is political. What’s more powerful and immediate: writing a check to a candidate or coming out to the constituents? Putting a known face on the issues changes minds and hearts. And the influence trickles down. We see evidence of this all the time.
At the Log Cabin fundraiser, four Republican state Assembly members recounted how they came to support marriage equality. Most famously, Teresa Sayward stood on the Assembly floor last summer to deliver a passionate speech for gay marriage. Why does she care? Her son is openly gay. Dede Scozzafava said a longtime friend sat her down and explained the birds and the birds to her (i.e., he came out to her). Janet Duprey, who originally voted against gay marriage, now supports it. Oh, and she has a beloved gay niece who wants to tie the knot. Joel Miller’s wife’s gay cousin just got hitched in California. And on it goes.
Yes, each of these lawmakers researched the topic and each may have different reasons for supportingthis civil rights issue. But they all mentioned knowing and being influenced by an openly gay person.
Most of these lawmakers hail from up north. We can’t support them with our votes. But perhaps we can come out to constituents from their districts.
Daniel O’Donnell, the Democratic Assembly member who sponsored the marriage bill, said every lawmaker who voted yes must get reelected in order to send a message that supporting the LGBT community is not political suicide. (Duprey, Scozzafava and Sayward are unopposed—so send your donations and support to Joel Miller, an outspoken Republican ally in Poughkeepsie who is facing a well-financed opponent.)
When City Council Speaker Christine Quinn spoke to the Wedding March contingent this week, she recalled a New York Times article about Gov. David Paterson. Printed shortly after his directive to state agencies to honor out-of-state gay marriages, the story asked: How did the governor arrive at his pro-gay views? The answer was significant. As a child, Paterson knew a gay male couple; they were friends of the family. Their presence taught him that same-sex couples could be openly gay and happy, that we are just like everyone else.
Quinn said that even five years ago most political thinkers wouldn’t have thought it possible that two governors and the Assembly would back gay marriage. “What they don’t understand,” she told the marchers, “is the power of all of you every day in your neighborhoods in your lives being out as LGBT people.”
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