Media do a grave disservice by saying that coming out today is much easier, says Mitchell Gold.
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By Joelle L. Quartini
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Sitting across from Mitchell Gold, surrounded by the impeccable design and 280-degree views from his Manhattan apartment, it’s hard to imagine this face of modern home design as a troubled, struggling youth.
He’s now the co-owner of Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams, a $100 million furniture company, but Gold has not forgotten his tormented childhood and the struggles of growing up gay.
Gold is giving back to the community with a new book he edited: “CRISIS: 40 Stories Revealing the Personal, Social and Religious Pain and Trauma of Growing Up Gay in America.”
It’s a collection of essays, each authored by a different person. Contributors range from comedian Alec Mapa and gay civil rights leader Joe Solmonese, to the first openly lesbian lawmaker elected to U.S. Congress, Tammy Baldwin, and singer Ari Gold, plus The Rev. Irene Monroe, sportsmen John Amaechi and Billy Bean and former N.J. Gov. Jim McGreevey.
Several queer youths also contribute. Such as Jared Horsford, 26, whose religious background led him to attempt to literally carve the demons out of his chest with a knife. His church didn’t discourage his self-mutilating behavior.
“The church leaders I talked to—at this point, I had spoken to a couple more, along with a few of my closest church friends—encouraged me to keep fighting [my homosexuality]. They said Jesus would heal my sin and that He would fix me if only I stayed faithful,” Jared Horsford, a 26-year-old Texas Tech University student, recounts in “CRISIS.”
The book speaks to the 1.6 million gay teens in America with stories of discrimination and rejection from families, religious institutions, schools and the workplace, as well as chapters defying the belief that homosexuality is a sin and the dangers of "reparative therapy."
“One of the greatest disservices that some media are doing, as well as some of our advocacy groups, is saying that coming out today is much easier,” Gold said while discussing “CRISIS.”
Gay youths are four times more likely to commit suicide than their straight peers, and 33 percent of gay youths will attempt suicide. On average, they’re 190 times more likely to use illegal substances.
One of Gold’s overarching goals with the book is to refocus the gay rights struggle on the lesser-known issues affected by inequality, such as hospital visitation rights, Social Security and the harm being done to teenagers.
“This is far more compelling to potential allies,” Gold said. “CRISIS provides them a window into the lives of tormented gay teenagers, so they can understand the importance of their support.”
Proceeds from the book benefit several non-profit organizations, including the Ali Forney Center, which houses homeless LGBT youth in New York; GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network; Point Foundation, a scholarship fund for LGBT students; and The Trevor Project, a 24-hour crisis and suicide helpline.
Many of the tales in the book illustrate the battles going on in school systems across the nation. They also mirror recent state Senate discussions about anti-bullying legislations.
In addition, Mayor Michael Bloomberg and city officials announced last week a new strategy to stop bullying and protect children from discrimination in public schools.
LGBT youth face persecution every day, not only in schools, but in religion as well.
Although many religions believe homosexuality to be a sin and explicitly condemned in the Bible, Gold is committed to teaching the truth—that it is not a choice.
“Until we say loud and clear that it’s not a sin, no one will believe it,” Gold said. “It’s a wonderful and essential part of the way you were born.”
In 2005, Gold created Faith In America, a nonprofit dedicated to stopping religious-based prejudice against the gay community.
Gold sees religious beliefs as the main reason for unequal rights, and he finds parallels to the civil rights movement for women and African Americans because religions justified denying these minorities equality.
“We need to remind people of those historic moments and connect the dots, and that’s what’s happening in the gay community.”
Gold himself grew up believing there was something wrong with him. "For me, being a gay teenager meant being two people all the time,” he said. “I thought about suicide often. I made a pact with myself: If I could not change and want to be with a woman by the time I was 21, I would commit suicide.” He was convinced his family would send him to a mental hospital if they discovered his secret.
“Homosexuality was considered a mental disorder—you didn’t see that you could become a lawyer, a doctor, a banker, a journalist.”
While attending college in Rhode Island, Gold sought help from a psychiatrist.
“I finally got the words out and said I was gay, and I needed cured," Gold said. Instead of trying to repair the struggling teen, a therapist helped Gold understand himself and appreciate his sexuality.
Since then, Gold has served on the Human Rights Campaign’s board of directors; Out magazine nominated him to its Top 50 Most Powerful Gay People in America list; and numerous advocacy and outreach organizations have honored his work.
Today, Gold lives in North Carolina with his partner, Tim Scofield, and is dedicated to ending the mental health crisis facing LGBT teens.
“CRISIS: 40 Stories Revealing the Personal, Social and Religious Pain and Trauma of Growing Up Gay In America,” Greenleaf Book Group Press, $23.95, crisisbook.org.
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